More Premarital Counseling

We are doing premarital counseling with the pastor who will be marrying us... He gave us this list of questions to ask our parents, and I am posting their responses to them. I thought they were interesting and maybe you will too...

Nate's Parents:
1. What, if any, are your concerns about our upcoming marriage?
Nate, you have a desire for adventure and trying something new, more of a risk-taker. Steph, seems to be happy with what she is comfortable with. I think that right now you are both making the effort to come together and compromise. Just make sure to keep that up. Dad sees that right now you are tremendously well balanced and communicating openly. His admonition would be to continue to explore and understand and accept your differences.

2. What do you think will be the marks of strength in our marriage?
Both a strength and an advantage is that you both come from strong, loving and supportive families. You already employ communication, humor, willingness to try new things in your relationship. You honor, respect, and trust each other. And, you really enjoy being with each other.

3. What do you foresee as some weaknesses that may create problems?
We don't see any obvious weaknesses, just keep working at the issues and areas you have already identified. One we would have seen a few years ago was sarcastic humor, but you have done an excellent job changing that. Also, see 6 below -

4. What do you think has been the greatest strength of your own marriage?
committment-divorce is not an option even when things get really tough; humor (Dad is good at this) oftens takes the edge off of a tough issue; a deep desire and willingness to keep God first and to keep growing in Him

5. If there was one thing you could change about me, what would that be?
I don't think that we've ever wanted to change anything. You are a great mix of both your mom and dad, the good things!:)

6. If there was one thing you could say to us right now that you have learned from your own experience that you feel would help us, what would that be?
Communication and growing in love isthe key to a unifying marriage. And to do this you have to spend time together regularly. You will be learning new things about each other your whole lives so don't allow yourselves to stagnate by not spending regular scheduled time together for this purpose.....our coffee dates have been a huge plus for us. Especially in this, (but also in all other things) remember to evaluate the spending of money in terms of "value" not just "cost"! :) The Starbucks demand curve just may be inelastic after all!! :)

Steph's Parents:

1. What, if any, are your concerns about our upcoming marriage?
Proximity to family especially with our grandkids.

2. What do you think will be the marks of strength in our marriage?
That you are equally yoked spiritually, financially, socially etc.

3. What do you foresee as some weaknesses that may create problems?
Dissimilarity in stability of location (Steph's family notmoving frequently, Nate's more mobile"

4. What do you think has been the greatest strength of your own marriage?
spiritual commonality. I am going to give you one more-common interests- this takes time to develop and some compromise

5. If there was one thing you could change about me, what would that be?
I really can't answer this, you are you and that is Okay. We love you!!

6. If there was one thing you could say to us right now that you have learned from your own experience that you feel would help us, what would that be?
achieving your dreams. Then when life throws in some curves- be happy to adapt to the new situation recognizing that God changed your path like he wants it.